We stand on the shoulders of a giant

Visit to the Jia Xiang Growing up, the children became used to seeing bulky parcels wrapped in brown paper and fastened with string. They knew these parcels were headed for the post office where they would be shipped to China, to Pa’s mother and relatives. Mum also roasted fragrant pork and wrapped it in waxed paper. Years later, relatives from China still remember her delicious roast pork. Even through the leanest times, the filial Tien Soo did not forget to send parcels back to his family in China. But his ultimate dream was to bring his aged mother to Singapore to live with him. He set about getting the necessary documents to bring his mum over, but, in 1967, the year his youngest child was born, Tien Soo received news that his mother had fallen gravely ill. The question of whether she would be well enough to travel to Singapore hung in the balance. Tien Soo waited for each update with trepidation and obstinate hope. However, in August 1967, he received the letter. His mother had passed away from her sickness. Now that there was no longer reason for haste, Tien Soo buried his grief deep in his heart and continued with the urgent business at hand – feeding, clothing and putting six growing children through school. The years flew by. The truck repair business became stable; his eldest son joined him in the family business. The youngest child started his tertiary education. Finally, at the ripe age of 55, Tien Soo permitted himself to dream again. And his dream was to see the place that dominated his dreams – his jia xiang (homeland). Tien Soo came from a village near the town of Putian. Putian County, as a city in Fujian province, dates back to 568AD. But the area has seen the rise and fall of many dynasties, including the Qin Dynasty, the Han Dynasty, the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the Tang Dynasty and even became a sovereignty briefly in 111 BC. Tien Soo’s ancestors were very sophisticated people. Tools made of stones, shells, jade and ceramic have been dug out from Fujian soil and traced back to the sixth millennium BC; even spinning wheels that indicated people were weaving cloth back then! On his maiden trip to Putian, Tien Soo visited his mother’s tomb in the hills above Putian. Such was his grief that he would not even permit his wife to accompany him to the tomb. Who knows what last words he spoke over his mother’s grave that sad, sad day? Altogether, he made about eight trips to Putian. What was it about that humble little town that drew Tien Soo back again and again? Sure, he visited some of the tourist spots with his relatives. There was Sanqing Hall of Xuanmiao Abbey, a heritage site dating back to… You don’t care, right? Nevertheless, it was a beautiful piece of architecture. Five halls with distinctive multiple eaves for a roof. Four statues of the Heavenly King enshrined therein. And the stone tablet garden that is home to sculptures collected from the four corners of the Middle Kingdom. Celebrity names graced these tablets – Song Wei Zong, Song Xiao Zong, Wen Tian Xiang, Zhou Ying, written in grass calligraphic style, seal style, real style. Okay, now I know you really don’t care. Well, neither did Tien Soo, really. He wasn’t there for Sanqing Hall, nor for Jiuli Lake, a pretty necklace of nine cascading waterfalls with lyrical names like lei (thunder), zhu lian (beads), yu zhu (jade pillar) and qi pan (chessboard), etc. His relatives, to show their gratitude and welcome, had brought Tien Soo and Kim Choo to the tourist sights, so Tien Soo obliged. But mostly, he liked to sit with his relatives over a pot of Oolong tea and talk. Just talk. Or sometimes just sit. With each trip he gathered another piece of the puzzle. Tien Soo was trying to find the missing pieces to a puzzle that was his life before the age of thirteen. Tien Soo was trying to find himself. Many children nowadays will find it hard to identify with Tien Soo’s deep and abiding love for his mother that spans decades and miles over the sea. It has to do with the vital Chinese value of xiao. Xiao is filial piety, a central pillar of the Chinese family and society and one of Confucius’ most important virtues. Getting Back His Name It was 1996. The family had gathered to celebrate Dad’s 65th birthday. Because he had no birth certificate, his six adult children had arbitrarily selected a day in the year to celebrate his birthday annually. Over the years, in-laws and young grandchildren had been added around the restaurant table. The newest in-law was the youngest son’s wife of a few months. One table was no longer enough. At the birthday party that night, the main topic of conversation was the latest bombshell the patriarch had dropped. The startling news had been conveyed, as usual, through Mum. “Dad says it is time he reverts back to his true name,” she told her children casually, “Do you know a way this can be done?” It had always been Tien Soo’s intention to honour his family by changing his surname from his benefactor’s name “Quek” back to “Ong”. But while the old granny had been alive, he did not want to upset her by rejecting her family name. Thus, his six children had also been named Quek. Three of them had already signed “Quek” on their marriage certificate. However, the old lady had passed away for a few years and Tien Soo felt it was time to live up to his obligations. Now, the children stared blankly at their parents. Did Pa and Mum know the ramifications of that supposedly small action? Is it just Pa who would change his name? What about his six children? The house deed, seven identity cards, birth certificates, marriage certificates, driving licences, individual bank accounts, insurance policies... A lawyer would have to be hired. How much is the legal process going to cost? But, hey, this is Dad. And they knew the tale of the hardships he suffered as a first generation immigrant to Singapore, even losing his true name in the process. “Let’s get a lawyer first,” they suggested vaguely. A date was set and the children trooped down to Cecil Street to sign a deed poll. In the end, it was decided that the two daughters need not change their surnames as they were already “married off” and their children (seven between them) were named after their husbands. Thankfully, there were no lai soon (grandchildren from the sons) to complicate the issue, although Pa and Mum wished heartily for these complications! Thus, on 13 July 1996, four grown sons who had thought of themselves as “Quek” even in their dreams, became “Ong”. In the end, it wasn’t as difficult as they had thought. With a one-stop administrative declaration, the Home Office, the Central Provident Fund Board (CPF) and the Singapore Armed Forces reservist office were informed. It didn’t cost much either, just below a thousand dollars. A thousand dollars to fulfil their father’s dream – it was a bargain. “The only fuss was having to inform my colleagues, friends and the church,” said youngest son Gek Hwee with a laugh, “Of cos, they all put me through the grill. ‘Why change your name?’, ‘Don’t you like it?’, ‘What do we call you now?’ I had to explain myself over and over again. The worst was my Reservist buddies, who ragged me. They continued calling me ‘Quek’ cos they said that’s how they’ve always thought of me.” “I don’t mind the name change,” he added, “Cos I finally got rid of the spelling of my Chinese name. It used to be ‘Kek Huay’, yah, as in ‘chrysanthemum’. So girly, right?!” With the change back to their true surname, the family celebrated. “Quek” means “outer wall” in Chinese, a solid but otherwise uninspiring name. Their true name, Ong, is written the same way as “King”. Isn’t that awesome? When the subsequent five lai soon (children from the sons) were born, they were surnamed Ong. The youngest grandson was named Ong En Ze, which means ‘The King’s grace is bright’, carrying on his father’s and uncles’ shining legacy of ‘ming liang guang hui’. Tien Soo’s Little Delights Hans Christian Andersen said, “Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” Tien Soo learned to seek out the little flowers in between his grease-covered regime. When his family was young, after work he would wipe the engine grease off his hands, arms and face with a piece of paraffin-soaked rag, he would take a bath and then take flight with his children! One of Kiat Tin’s earliest memories was of Pa lifting her high, high up. “I flew like a plane in our living room!” she exclaimed. Tien Soo also liked to dance the cha cha. He would bend his arms with his elbows pointing outwards and his hands lifted up. Then, he would flap his arms like a bird, much to the hilarity of his watching kids. His legs would keep time, stepping forwards and backwards in rhythm. His kids were never sure whether he was doing the cha cha or the Malay joget! While living in Jalan Tenteram, Tien Soo was known to have bought the first television set (of course it was black and white then) in his HDB block, and neighbours from up and down the corridor would invite themselves into the apartment to enjoy this ‘novelty’. Although their flat was tiny, the children remembered sharing it with a succession of birds and hamsters. After work and on weekends, Pa would clean out the cages and feed his menagerie. The children would eagerly lend their help. Some of the children inherited their father’s passion. Gek Hwee was the worst hit. Fish, hamsters, baby chicks, ducklings, rabbits, white mice... Gek Hwee was indiscriminate. Every time he tagged along with Mum to the wet market, he would pester her for a pet. One time, Tien Soo bravely took the kids swimming alone while Mum stayed at home with the baby. They packed in such a rush that they forgot important items of clothing. Pa loved fishing, so he took the gang on a fishing trip. That was where Gek Ming caught the fishing bug. They went to the seaside with rods and earthworms. Pa showed Gek Ming how to bait a worm and to throw the fishing line as far as possible into the water. The hook accidentally snagged onto Gek Ming’s shirt as he swung the rod forward. The worm fell into his shirt and all the children got extremely excited. Pa laughed so hard that he could not remove the worm. He affectionately called Gek Ming a big fish. Years later, Gek Ming still fishes. When his nephew Clement turned 11 years old, Gek Ming introduced him to his hobby. Clement looked forward to these bonding sessions. In later years, when Tien Soo had more time and more money, he found a new passion – travelling! It started with trips to his homeland, but he also toured Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Penang and Brisbane of Australia. He likes cruise ships. Sometimes, he travelled with his wife; sometimes with buddies. His favourite activity during these holidays, and even back home, was to walk. Long strides, for hours on end. Who knows what thoughts went through his head during those solo strolls. Politics, economy, the meaning of life? Or simply the hot sun, the cool breeze and whether the traffic light was in his favour? There was one thing Tien Soo always treasured, and that was time with his extended family. Every Sunday was the highlight of his week; he looked forward to his children’s and grandchildren’s visit. If a child doesn’t turn up for a week or two, he would have Mum call and remind the child, “Come home, come home.” I Remember “I loved McDonald’s when I was young and Gong Gong (Grandpa) used to bring me there even though he hated MacDonald’s. When I grew up, I learned that McDonald’s was unhealthy, and besides, my tastes changed. I work in Manchester, England. On one of my trips back to Singapore in 2009, I was craving yong tau foo all the way back on the flight. But Gong Gong insisted on bringing me to MacDonald’s because he had the idea stuck in his head that I love fast food! So there we were, Grandad and granddaughter, both hating MacDonald’s but still going there for breakfast out of love for each other. It was surreal.” Eldest granddaughter Ngee Shin Milestone Moments 1930 – Ong Tien Soo was born. 1943 – Ong Tien Soo travelled to Singapore, where he was given the surname Quek. 1957 – Quek Tien Soo married Teo Kim Choo. 1958 – Quek Gek Ming was born. 1959 – Quek Kiat Tin was born. 1960 – Quek Gek Keow was born. 1962 – Quek Kiat Liang was born. 1962 – The family moved to Jalan Tenteram. 1965 – Quek Gek Kong was born. 1967 – Quek Kek Huay was born. 1967 – Tien Soo’s mother died in China. 1973 – The family moved to Whampoa. 1983 – Kiat Tin married Tiong Kian Boon. 1983 – Tien Soo opened his own workshop in Hougang. 1984 – The family moved to Hougang Avenue 8. 1985 – Tien Soo’s first grandchild, Tiong Ngee Shin, was born. 1987 – Kiat Tin’s son Tiong Ngee Zheng was born. 1987 – Gek Keow married Alan Chan. 1988 – Gek Keow’s daughter Charmaine Chan was born. 1990 – Kiat Tin’s son Tiong Ngee Derk was born. 1991 – Gek Keow’s daughter Charlene Chan was born. 1993 – Kiat Tin’s daughter Tiong Ngee Qi was born. 1994 – Gek Keow’s son Clement Chan was born. 1995 – Gek Hwee married Pauline Loh. 1996 - Tien Soo, Gek Ming, Kiat Liang, Gek Kong and Gek Hwee changed their surname. 1996 – Gek Kong married Jenny Ngoh. 1997 – Gek Hwee’s daughter Alexis Ong was born. 1998 – Gek Kong’s son Elisha Ong was born. 1999 – Gek Hwee’s daughter Maxine Ong was born. 2000 – Gek Kong’s daughter Evangeline Ong was born. 2006 – Gek Hwee’s son Lukas Ong was born. 2011 – Tien Soo received Christ and was baptised. 15 August 2011 – Tien Soo was called to his heavenly home.